10 Signs You Might be a Perimenopausal Woman…

A humorous look at getting older

By Charmin Foth ImageCaption: Perimenopause? What!?! Doc says, “Don’t worry, it only lasts 10 years or so!!!”                         Photo: Microsoft Images
 
  1. You can no longer remember the names for persons, places or things; everything becomes a whatcha-dittle, thing-a-ma-bob, or a whozy-whats-it, and you expect people to know what you are talking about.
  2. You want to nap at 4 in the afternoon, but are wide awake at 4 in the morning.
  3. You spend hours in the cosmetic aisle, looking for something that is unmeltable and sweatproof.
  4. You have an overwhelming urge to punch cute, cuddly couples in the face.
  5. Your bladder wakes you up about every 3 hours and every morning at least an hour before the alarm clock goes off.
  6. You cut up all your gym clothes to make a quilt that “wicks away moisture.”
  7. You mix your wrinkle cream with Clearasil.
  8. People who talk or breathe irritate you.
  9. You gain/lose/gain the same 10 pounds at least 50 times.
  10. You wake up at 3 am in a puddle of sweat and stick your head in the freezer to cool off only to wake at 6 am in a puddle of melted icecream with a lump on the back of your head from the freezer door.

Men, if you have a lady in your life exhibiting these symptoms, you may want run and hide, or for the brave of heart – arm yourself with chocolate, just don’t get too close!

Remember these are only a few of the warning signs, ladies, you know there are more lurking in the shadows.

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Life On The Big Daddy Roller Coaster

Looking back makes you appreciate where you are now. This blog post, originally written in April of 2011, makes me thankful for change. My life has changed so much since this post some good, some great and some challenging, but I see every change as an opportunity to grow.

The question is, how do YOU ride on this roller coaster of life? Do you scream, and close your eyes, or do you throw your hands up and laugh?

Screaming, Stress, Roller Coaster Ride
Screaming on the downhill ride of a Six Flags roller coaster.

(Original post)
Well, I must apologize for being slack in my blogging for the past few months. The only excuse I can give is life. It seems that lately I have had an over-abundance of life coming at me from all directions. I know I am not the only person in the world that feels this way. But sometimes, don’t you just want to scream? “Hey, slow this planet down, I want to get off now!” As if life were a ride at an amusement park, and you had too much funnel cake for your own good.

This week life has been just like that. A roller coaster of ups and downs so severe they take your breath away and knock you back in your seat. My work life is always hectic, but when our office manager quit, work became more intense. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job,  I get the opportunity to organize, be creative and bring  our marketing into the 21st century, but when you work for a small company, you wear too many hats and sometimes it can be overwhelming.

If my work were the only part of the equation, the stress would feel more manageable. I was a military wife for years, and as long as no one is shooting at my husband, I’ve always felt I could roll with just about anything. So work stress is my kiddie version of the roller coaster. It looks intimidating when you are 5, not when your 8. Do you know what I mean?

But then, you add the stress of caring for an aging mother. (Who I love greatly. But is as stubborn as the day is long, and no matter how you explain it, she still won’t take her medication as it’s prescribed.) Then add the stress of my health scare and the need to take care of myself. The stress of a leaky roof, (that must be completely replaced). Then every piece of machinery that has an engine breaks down, from cars to lawn mowers. And, as of tonight, the refrigerator just went kaput. All those things in close proximity to each other, and none of the money to do anything about any of it…well that has put me on the Big Daddy of Roller Coaster of Stress this week. All those downs make me want to get off this ride and run screaming from the park. Not to mention, they are exhausting. I need a nap just writing about it.

However, without the downs of my roller coaster ride, I could never truly appreciate the ups of my roller coaster ride. It can be a little jerky getting up the hill, but when you get to the top, the view takes your breath away and you can’t believe you made it this far. Without the troubles, I would never appreciate the positive aspects of my life.

I’m blessed. I have faith in a God who loves me regardless of my troubles and in spite of everything I have done wrong in this world. I have a husband who is my best friend, who cares what I think, and appreciates me for who I am, and loves me even when I am rotten. I have a mother whom I get the privilege of embracing as she imparts her wisdom and love on me, and I cherish these times because I know she won’t be here forever. I have a church family and friends who will pray with me when I’m scared, confused and when I cry out to God for guidance or grace. I have a job and a home with a warm bed and food to eat. Wow, not a bad life. How many people have less at this very moment? My heart hurts for them.

Without the perspective the of the Ups, the Downs look devastating with no end in site. We can’t always be on the Up, but we can know that when the Downs happen, an Up can’t be far behind. I hope my trials and tribulations this week can encourage you to know you are not alone in your daily struggles. We all are on this ride together. Some days it’s the kiddie roller coaster and others it’s the Big Daddy roller coaster. Whichever it is, appreciate it, throw your hands up and laugh, this ride goes by too fast.

Thanks for reading.

Answered prayers: Since this was originally published in 2011, my roof has been fixed, my husband has a new job and a company car, everything seems to be running smoothly, so that is a reason to praise.

Prayers needed: Of course with every up there is a down, I no longer care for my aging mother, she has moved back to her hometown, where she feels comfortable and I pray for her every day, but I’m thankful she is alive and physically healthy. Even though I loved her while she was here, she needed her own space and independence. 

Life is a constant state of change, nothing stands still for very long. How you see it makes all the difference in the world. Let your smile in times of trial be a witness.